You’ve done just about everything that “serious” couples do. You’ve traveled together, hung out with each other’s friends, and ilies.
Although there are many reasons why a guy might not want to fully commit to a relationship, it typically falls into two categories: 1) it might be about him; 2) it might be something that you’re doing.
Learning to decode the difference between the two will save a ton of heartbreak not just from this guy, but all the other men you’ll be dating in the future.
Does he want you, but not a relationship with you?
There’s nothing more frustrating than not knowing where you stand in someone else’s eyes, especially when you are madly in love with that someone else.
Many women find themselves in this endless tango with a man who isn’t really their boyfriend, but who isn’t really “just a friend”.
- He cancels plans last minute with some unexpected excuse
- He doesn’t treat you with the kindness or love that you think you deserve
- He acts like a different person sometimes, especially when other people are around
- He doesn’t show you off on his social media accounts
- He hasn’t taken the time to introduce you to his close friends or family
- He doesn’t really plan things with you, and just expects you to be ready whenever
- He loves it when you guys “get physical” but acts distant otherwise
Testing him: How to find out that he doesn’t really want a relationship without asking
It can be awkward asking someone if they want to be in a relationship with you, or why they don’t want it in the first place.
But the good thing is that you don’t have to ask at all; in many cases the signs are obviously telegraphed, and all you need to do is put them to the test.
1) Talk about the future
This doesn’t mean trying to plan out the next 20 years with your guy; it can be something as innocent as planning a “serious” vacation or trip abroad in a few months or sometime next year.
If he wants you… he’ll react positively and enthusiastically, and he’ll love the idea of a trip and love the fact that you’re not only thinking about spending more time with him, but thinking of keeping him involved in your life for the long-term.
If he doesn’t want you… he’ll react negatively and standoffish, because he’ll be bothered by the fact that you are planning to keep him in your life for that long, while he probably assumes that you won’t still be seeing each other in a few months.
2) Add friends (and family) to the mix
No relationship exists in a vacuum, because no individual exists in a vacuum. We’re made up by the people who fill our lives, from our best friends to our siblings and parents.
So introducing your “special friend” to your friends and family isn’t something that should feel completely out of place; it’s a natural step in the growth of a real relationship.
If he wants you… he might be intimidated or shy towards the idea of meeting other people in your life, but mylol profile he’ll want to score points with you and he should be open to the idea of it.
If he doesn’t want you… he knows that getting to know your friends and family will make him more of a jerk when he eventually disappoints you, so he will try to pull every lame excuse from the book to squeeze out of the possible meet-up.